The Ache After a Loss
by sweetwonderlnad
Summary: 'The strike came unexpected. They say time passes as in slowmotion when you're in a trauma. As the ground came rushing towards her face, Emma could see what they were talking about.' Things don't go as planned when the Snow Queen is confronted.


The strike came unexpected. They say time passes as in slow-motion when you're in a trauma. As the ground came rushing towards her face, Emma could see what they were talking about.

Just as she expected ground to collide with her head two strong arms wrapped around her, and she smiled weakly when she saw Killian hovering over her. He looked scared, distressed even, but as beautiful as ever. His lips were moving, but she heard nothing as she could only focus on his sea blue eyes.

Muffled noises and sounds of distant fights reached her ears but her mind were otherwise occupied. She watched him call something to someone out of her sight before he turned his attention back to her.

Emma yearned for his touch as his hand reached for her, cupping her cheek before moving further down. As his hand seemed to have found its goal by her waist he made a swift move, something in Emma snapped, and she screamed.

The numbness the chock had set in was long gone, and pain were instead very much present, radiating from her abdomen. Everything came rushing back to her and she tried to take in her surroundings, making sure none else had been hurt.

With choking breaths she swept her gaze through the area and saw David, Regina and Robin struggling to hold down the Snow Queen and Gold standing a few metres away, looking almost amused.

In a second her focus returned to Killian, and saw him sitting immobilized over her, injured arm holding her in his lap, and the other holding a frosty knife covered in blood. As a wet cough escaped her, he snapped back to present and started working. He cradled her closer to him before putting pressure on the most painful place on her abdomen, gritting his teeth at her silent whimpers.

"You are going to be fine, love. Just fine", he muttered, to sooth himself or her she didn't know. She tried to speak, but a choked cough left her, making her body spasm in pain and she closed her eyes in pain.

"No, no, Emma. Don't close your eyes, darling. Stay with me." She blinked and tried to focus on Killian, her min slower than she'd like and vision blurry around the edges.

"David!", Killian suddenly screamed and Emma jolted in his arms. She saw another form join them and Emma suspected her father as he moved some hair from her face.

"Oh Emma, what did you get yourself into? You should have just let the knife hit me. I was her target, not you."

"Ca..an't let Neeal lose .. you", Emma choked out, having a severely much harder time staying awake than she should. She looked at him and saw the tears roll down his cheeks as he kept stroking her hair.

"We can't lose you, don't you understand that?", he asked her fiercely but she only smiled weakly back at him, feeling her strength leave her body with every breath.

She didn't regret her decision, though. Neal would not grow up like she did, not if she could prevent it. Henry, though, him she felt worse for. But, at least he knew she loved him. Neal would've never known his father if she hadn't done something about it, and he would have no memories of him. Henry would always know. That was the most important. He would have Regina, and he would have her parents, and she knew even Killian would stay by her son's side.

That was one thing she did regret: Killian. Not actually Killian, but not having spent enough time with him, and not have said all she wanted to while she had the chance.

She almost snorted at her own stupidity, when had she become sentimental? The cliché embroiled in her life was almost a joke, but still it brought weight to her heart.

"Emma! No! Open your eyes! The ambulance will be here any second, hold on. Don't you dare leave me." Killian shook her fiercely as he cried, making her realize she'd once again closed her eyes. She tried to heed his wish, but found herself unable to move at all. She also found a peace in that. It wasn't painful anymore. She could go.

As the muffled sounds of sirens reached her ears, she let darkness take her, arguing that she did wait until they showed.

* * *

><p>She'd still been warm as they'd taken her from his arms. As he sat on the wooden chairs in the hospital's waiting room he feared the next time he'd see her. Then she would be cold.<p>

She had told him once, for what felt like an eternity ago, that she couldn't lose him. He'd assured her without doubt, heart aching for the same statement, but soothing himself with her 100% track record in life. As the tears seem to be as many as the ocean's drops, Killian curses himself for not telling her exactly how he felt for her. He knew the outcome of that would have been no different, as she did what she did out of love or her brother and family. Still, he wished she'd known, how much she meant, how much she changed him and how he'll think of her every day until his last.

_'Good' _he heard her voice in the back of his mind, and was all but convinced someone is trying to torture him. More tears well as he realize he'll never hear her voice again.

A nurse interrupted his musings as she sat down on the chair next to Emma's parents'. As soon as Snow had been informed of her daughter's fate, she'd rushed to the hospital to meet her husband and daughter's sort of boyfriend. Henry had joined them shortly after, refusing to leave with Regina, no matter his mother's agues. They had all fallen asleep after a couple hours, except him. He knew he would be allowed to see her one last time, to have a chance to say a proper goodbye, and he was not going to sleep through that chance.

The nurse shook Snow, who jolted awake out of breath, clearly having a nightmare, and waking the two other as she did.

Killian could do nothing but listen intently. He didn't plan on saying anything, or demanding answers, as he already knew his Swan's fate.

"You can see her now", the nurse whispered, even though the room was empty apart from their little family. Snow and Charming nodded and stood, closely followed by Henry and Killian.

The nurse led them through corridors who all looked the same, passing doors with all sorts of people before they reached a room where she stayed, letting the family take up the little space.

Killian lied eyes on her and felt his heart squeeze painfully. It look as if she was only sleeping. But Killian knew better.

"Killian!", the boy's voice snapped him out of his thoughts. "Did you hear what she said, Killian?"

Shaking his head, he cautiously watched the boy smile like he'd just received the best news of his life. Looking up to the boy's grandparents their faces mirrored the boy's; happiness laced with relive. Frowning, he gave David a questioning look. How could they smile while his life was sinking to the depths of no survival?

"She'll be okay", David smiled but Killian still didn't understand. No one could live through that, he was certain. He'd watched the life leave her fragile form.

"Killian", Henry caught his attention once again. "They fixed her. She is going to live. It was close, but she is still here."

Finally, realization hit him, and he would have collapsed if he'd not made a promise to himself to be strong in front of the boy.

Emma would live.

_**Fin**_


End file.
